Tuesday, September 14, 2010

How Do I Know If It's Too Late To Get My Husband Back? Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/how-do-i-know-if-its-too-late-to-get-my-husband-back-3264577.html#ixzz0zVWrRzuI Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

I often hear from wives who worry that it's too late to get their husbands back. Sometimes, there has already been a separation or divorce. Or sometimes, their husband has met someone else or has "moved on." Other times, there has been infidelity or the wife has admittedly made some "huge mistakes" that she's not sure she can overcome. These wives are often heartbroken thinking that it's going to be too late to save the marriage or to get him back.
It's my belief that it's rarely too late. But often, you can't just rely on luck or fate to get him back. Most of the time, it really helps to have a very deliberate and well thought out plan. I will discuss this more in the following article.
Many Times, It's Not Too Late To Get Your Husband Back (Even When It Appears That It Is:) Sometimes, I correspond with wives who are right on the verge of giving up on their husband or their marriage because they think the situation is hopeless and they're just trying to be realistic.
But, I've seen countless situations like this turn around. I've seen couples who were divorced and married to other people get back together. I've seen couples who couldn't stand the site of one another turn it around. It doesn't always happen on a certain time table or immediately. But, it most certainly can happen. And, it happens more often when you don't push too hard or make it too obvious that this is what you are trying to accomplish. You have to remember that you're trying to draw him back to you while making him think that it's his idea.
Getting Your Husband Back When You've Almost Given Up: I often suggest to wives that they'll have the most success with getting their husbands back if they don't make it very obvious that that's what they're trying to do. The reason for this is that sometimes, the more you push yourself onto the situation, the less attractive you seem. The more you call, text, and act very dramatically when your husband is not receptive to this, the more you raise your chances of him seeing you negatively and then pulling away from you even more.
So, sometimes it's the smarter thing to do if you back up (and off) just a little bit. And frankly, I suspect that it's easier to do this when things look most dire. I really didn't start to gain any ground in getting my husband back until I had literally almost given up and went back to my hometown for some support from my family and friends.
It was only after he heard the silence that he began to wonder about me and therefore, to think of me. And, it wasn't until he learned that I was trying to move on and have fun with friends that he started to become slightly interested again.
Wives sometimes tell me that they don't know if they have it in them to back off. Because they feel so very desperate to get him back and they're very scared that they are running out of time. If this describes how you feel, ask yourself if your previous attempts to get him back have worked. Has calling, texting, showing up, or trying to elicit his guilt or pity gotten you what you wanted? If it hasn't, perhaps it's time to try something new.
Sometimes, when you realize that you're reached the end of the road with your current strategy, it's easier to just throw caution to the wind and wonder how much worse it could possibly be if you gave yourself permission to go at this from another angle. Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen. Because if you already fear that you're on the brink of losing him for good or that it's too late to get him back, then perhaps there's not a whole lot to lose if you try something new.
Getting Him Back By Using His Curiosity Combined With Focusing On The Positive: Here's where many women, at least in my opinion, go wrong. They are tempting to dwell on the things that will pull him away from them rather than pushing him toward them.
They want to convince him that he was wrong. They want to entice him to "work" on their problems. They want to make him feel jealousy, pity, anger or guilt. But, what they don't realize (and what I didn't realize for a long time) was that focusing on the negative makes him associate the resulting negative feeling toward you and the marriage. This will sometimes only make your situation worse.
You're often better off if you allow the time and distance to help your cause rather than to make it worse. You want to give him time to wonder what you are up to. And, when he does think of, hear from, or hear about you, you want for him to know that you are busy, vibrant, and coping. You need to show him the vivacious, upbeat, strong woman he feel in love with. You want to portray the attributes that draw him to you rather than repel him away. And, you need to do this even when it doesn't seem to matter because it always matters.
You never know when you're coming up on the time period where things can change. And, even if that time is not immediate, no harm will generally come of presenting your best self and focusing on the positive. This alone will usually improve the situation. And this is the first step toward getting him back.
There was a time that I thought my marriage was truly at it's end. We had seemingly tried everything - from talking it through to a trial separation. Thankfully, even though I had doubts, I decided to try one last thing, to give a little more, and to approach it from another angle (by focusing on my own time and efforts) and this eventually worked. You can read that very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/


Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/how-do-i-know-if-its-too-late-to-get-my-husband-back-3264577.html#ixzz0zVWucb1C
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

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